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A TRIP TO GERMANY’S BEST FKK SAUNA CLUBS
(This is a work in progress, so check back for changes and updates)
First, you’ll have to decide the logistics
1. Public transportation
2. Renting a car
4. Take an organized tour
Don’t take our word for it, do your own research and take what you read on discussion forums and the internet with a grain of salt. The fact is, in the last few years due to the EU and arrival of over a million refugees, it’s not as safe as it once was. Traveling alone, not speaking the language, looking like a tourist and using public transportation can be hazardous. Just recently, one of our guests decided to go it alone. He took a taxi from in front of a well known club. Due to him not speaking the language, looking foreign and having little experience or knowledge, he was victimized. His iPhone, passport and money were taken. Many people will look to the internet for “how to do it alone” and find things out the hard way. Getting your info from a total stranger, who won’t even publicly post his real name, makes no sense. In addition, the ‘plant’s who are paid to write reports and promote specific clubs on the internet can be a minefield. After the above event, we were able to get more details on what took place. What you should know is that departing a club in the evening or late at night means there are fewer people on the street and at public transportation centers (You’ll be alone with no one to help you). The most dangerous areas are the city centers, such as the one depicted in the image above. The “Hauptbahnhofs”, or Main Train Stations, are usually located in the worst areas of town. This is where tourists often come in contact with pick pockets who have moved from poor countries to find easy targets. Some may argue that he should have used a registered taxi, but he did! This does nothing to protect you, as even registered drivers know all too well how easy it is to commit these crimes. There will be no record. Now more than ever before, criminals from other countries are being hired as taxi drivers. We went to the local Police station to help file a report and found out just how common these events have become. They called the taxi company and there was no record of such pick up. In fact, this was not the first time this sort of crime has been committed. You could be walking from the club alone and be targeted, so take care.
Travel advice for its citizens heading to Germany. It notes the increased numbers of refugees entering the country and cautions against travel in areas that could be prone to violent demonstrations.Germany: Migrant Crime Wave, Police Capitulate Traveling with a group makes more sense now than ever before. You’ll learn from experts, not people you don’t know from unknown sources. You’ll travel protected, have an experienced guide and rest assured because you’re safe, and so are your belongings.
Not for the novice, it helps to know some German when taking public transport. Your trip will revolve around your transportation options, since trains, the subway and buses do not run 24 hours. Clubs on the other hand are open till 5 am, long after your last bus or train. So, keep this in mind when planning your visit. Should you miss a train or bus, you may be looking at a short to long delay till the next one. If you plan on buying your train tickets online, note the requirements (printed copies), credit cards and identification needed for online tickets. Does your hotel have a printer? Take into consideration the location of your hotel when using public transportation. Hotels in the center of towns are often closer to main train and bus stations. Also, consider main train stations and city centers have higher crime rates, so take care when walking at night and where you decide to walk. Long and short distance Trains: German Train system
Location, location, location. Depending on your selected transportation method, where you book a hotel is important. City centers are best when using public transportation since they are often close to main train and bus stations. However, if you’ll be renting a car, parking is often sparse (include parking fines) and costly in city centers. While shopping the internet, make sure your hotel has its own bath and shower. While less common now, lower priced older hotels had community toilets and showers. Does the price of your hotel include breakfast? While not important to everyone, included breakfast will sometimes affect the cost. Ask about taxes as sometimes up to 20% can be added to your bill once you arrive.
When renting a car in Germany, consider the total cost, plus the fact that driving in Germany differs from the US. Fuel can cost as much as $8.00US per gallon, which adds up quickly and sometimes surpasses the cost of the actual rental. If you opt out of the insurance at the counter, make sure you inspect your vehicle before you drive away. Note that small dings, waves and even stone chips are considered damage. If you accept the car with any such damage without insurance, you’ll be billed a minimum fee of 600 Euros. Inspect the car in detail and have staff note the damage on your rental agreement. We’ve never checked for a spare tire when we picked up rental cars in the US, but on one occasion in Germany the spare was missing. Upon returning the vehicle, we were told the tire was missing and billed 1800 Euros. Once you find yourself a victim of such insane penalty fees you’ll understand why we’re telling you this. If you don’t own your own GPS with German maps, it’s wise to book a GPS from the rental agency, usually about 10 Euros extra per day. Make sure you have the proper address info when you arrive, which you’ll be required to enter into the GPS. Ask staff to walk you thru changing all settings from German to English. Think using your credit card covers the insurance? Not always the case see the links below. Find a low car rental rate? Make sure you include the mandatory insurance some rental companies demand.
Rental Car Damage Size sheet used for Renting in Germany (not used in the US)
Liability insurance and car rental
Overseas car insurance a minefield for travel
Caution renting from Dollar Rent a Car Frankfurt
DRIVING IN GERMANY
Driving in Germany differs from the USA. Always keep to the right when on the autobahns (it’s the law). The left lane is for passing. Cars will, and legally can, pass you in the left lane going over 200kmph. Don’t flash your head lights, honk your horn or give someone the finger. German law sees this as road rage and made it against the law. There is no need for a citation or trial; anyone can take down your license number and file a report, which will appear as a huge fine on your rental car agreement. When in doubt, EXIT. Sometimes exits are far apart (more then 20km) and if you miss your exit you might have problems getting off. Obey all speed signs. While German autobahns have sections of unlimited speed, these are often interrupted with speed restricted zones. Photo radar is common on German autobahns as well as in small villages, towns and cities. You might only see a flash of light, which means it’s too late. Only later you will discover that your credit card has been billed for a fine by the rental car agency, including added administration fees. Even if you don’t see parking restriction signs, many German cities now require a paid parking permit no matter where you park (no warning signs required). However, you will get the satisfaction of a paper ticket which will be placed on your windshield. We’ve also encountered parking violations where you’re not issued a ticket but where a photo is taken of your vehicle to show location and violation, after which a fine is billed to you. If you drink even one beer, think again about driving in Germany. Most clubs offer beer (as much as you can drink) and should you even have one beer and be stopped by local police, you’ll suffer major consequences. It’s not uncommon for police to set up random check points at any hour of the day or night. Often, these are set up near clubs along common roadways leading to the clubs. Police know people drink at the clubs and often target them with such check points. Pay attention to where you park, how fast you drive and where you’re going.
Fuel can and may be more than what you pay for your rental car each day because Germany has some of the most expensive fuel costs. One big error many newbies make is over estimating fuel cost, Germany is not a bunch of straight highways, much of the driving you’ll do will be stop and go traffic. We’ve paid over $100 per fill up for a normal sized vehicle. People need to consider fuel when estimating the cost of a tour. Use this page to see approximate current fuel per gallon, note to change to US dollar and Gallons as of this writing $5.50 – $6.00 per gallon GPS Driving in the US is easier than Europe since roadways are based on the quad system (square blocks) unlike Europe where streets circle around the center. Most German cities have many one way streets and streets that rarely follow a straight line. This can be confusing and dangerous for unfamiliar drivers. Even GPS may give you instructions to head down the wrong way, so pay close attention to ‘one way’ signs. Entering an address in your GPS should be done with great care; most cities have streets with the same names as other cities. Should you enter a club address with the wrong address, you might find yourself on a wild goose chase or worse, having wasted hours of time and expensive fuel.
100 USA Your dollar compared to the Euro is a big factor when comparing costs
ONE OF THE STUPIDEST THINGS WE’VE HEARD “I don’t need someone to help me pick a prostitute”. The fact that someone said this shows how uniformed and naive newbies can be. The truth is there are great, good, average, bad and ripoff women at all the clubs. Going in blind and choosing one by looks alone is for fools. As they say “A fool and his money are soon parted”. Knowing the real rates (not just what they tell you at the front desk or on the web). Note as of 2017 the clubs can not demand or enforce pricing with the women. For example at one of the tourist traps close to Frankfurt for newbies the women have adjusted the standard 50e service. Yes they still accept 50e but they’ve cut services so you’re really getting less for the normal rate. The worst girls will try and get you in and out with poor rushed service in 15 minutes or less. In fact we often time new guests going to the room and then watch them pay the girls. It’s common so without a knowledgeable known guide your chances are decreased in finding that perfect provider. Then again with such a really stupid statement it’s the same world wide.
WHICH WOMEN TO AVOID?
One huge benefit of having guides that are at the clubs all the time is our updated and current info. No matter where you enjoy this paid hobby there are women which exist who do everything unprotected. Who wants to take the chance of selecting one of these mine fields. Think about it, you go to Germany for fun and bring back more than you bargained for, your family life is at risk as well as your reputation. Well informed customers (info you won’t find on the internet) have a better chance of avoiding this. We hear it all the time how easy it is, how you can do it all yourself but you never hear from those who failed, had huge problems and even came down with STD’s because no one wants to admit they made the wrong choice and look stupid. First timers your money is well spent to learn about this hobby from decades of experience experts sharing face to face. Or do you prefer to get second hand info from strangers on the internet you don’t know. They could be plants from clubs or working girls. Going on your own the first time is like doing brain surgery on yourself, you can always pick out the newbies at a club who do the wrong things, make common mistakes and give tourists a bad name.
ETIQUETTE AND MANNERS
Often over looked newbies need to brush up on what to do and what not to do. Travel with us and we’ll get you up to date so you won’t look like a fool or moron. Remember everyone does NOT speak English and getting info from a person who is not a native speaker often means miscommunication. Food handling, putting your feet on the wrong things, cleaning up after yourself, dinning manners and how to politely ask for things are all common mistakes. We see them all the time, the wanna be losers with no concept of manners or etiquette. They just don’t get it. The most basics are beyond them such as putting your feet up on furniture (with or without slippers) or abuse of free towels. These are the guys walking around with sometimes 5 towels under their arms not to forget the one around their neck. But wait it gets worse just because the food is included does not mean you need to take more. These are the guys with three plates of food stacked in front of them. No wonder they can’t get laid out in the real world. Staff is aware of this and often these guys are talked about and looked down at. If you don’t see these clowns you often can hear them due to the lack of volume control. They don’t notice the fact people are not interested in what they’re saying yet they can’t speak at a lower polite volume. Pick up after yourself, first thing you notice in Germany is many eating establishments have self busing rules, where there is a dirty plate cart. This means after you’re done with a meal you take your used plates and silverware and drop them off. Just because someone else does not do this don’t assume its OK. Refined gentlemen always drop their empty glasses and cups at the bar. The staff with thank you and you’ll really look good.
KNOW WHEN TO GO AND WHEN NOT TO GO
If you visit clubs as much as we do we know the wrong time to visit and the best time. Some will have you think, just get there and you’ll be fine. Yet it can mean between very few girls to a full staff and when the best girls work. We get to know our guests so we’re better able to recommend which girls are best for you. The internet has lots of mis-information about the best girls which may not be good for you. Remember everyone has their own taste, what works for one guy does not for another. Plus some people will even lie to get a girl some business.
Map(s) GPS (must include German map version) Clubs, addresses, hours of operation Cell Phone, SIM card Hotel Rental Cars Taking the tour Having a cell phone (called a handy or Mobile) in Germany adds costs but saves time, money and aides in your travel. Calling ahead to ensure the club is open, how many women are working, or if you have difficulty in finding the club are all reasons to invest in a cheap pay-as-you-go phone. Often, you can find these phones on the internet before you travel. You can also buy one at the airport or local town when you arrive. Look for cellular carrier services. Note that someone might answer your call and not speak a word of English.
BEST ADVICE FOR FIRST TIME VISITORS
When you visit a club remember this: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do” The idea is take the time to watch what locals do and don’t do. Tourists and newbies almost always stand out by the dumb things they do. Don’t go places where no one else is going. Don’t expect a door to be locked or a chain to be blocking an entrance. You’re not at home, so don’t open every door just because it’s there. If you’re unsure, then ask first. Often, private rooms are off limits to guests unless accompanied by a woman. Clean up after yourself. It’s common even at McDonald’s in Europe that when finished people bus their own table. Racks are provided for trays, trash, glasses and containers. Note in the clubs what people are doing with their plates when done eating. If in doubt, bring your plate to the kitchen or bar area. We were pioneers in getting the clubs to open their doors to foreigners. Many clubs were reluctant due to the communication barrier which has and still does cause problems. When leaving the club, deposit club shoes and towels in provided containers. If in doubt, look inside the provided containers for shoes or towels. If you can’t find them, ask.
Learn some basic words in German, such as Thank you “danke” Yes “Ja” No “Nein” Please “Bitte” No Thank You “Nein Danke” Water “Wasser” Coffee “Kaffee” Cola “Cola”
BASIC INFORMATION, COMMON QUESTIONS, MYTHS AND TRUTHS
Do women have the right to refuse service to a guest?
YES, absolutely. We’ve heard so called experts on the internet tell people that women are not allowed to refuse service. This is totally false and against the law. Women pay an entry fee just like the customers and have the right to refuse service and stop providing service if they wish. The club is not going to take your side as a customer since the women are also customers. While this rarely happens, take rejection as a positive since you don’t want a woman who obviously does not like you servicing you.
Do I have to pay for service if I allow a woman to begin oral on me before I go to a room?
YES, when you allow an act to take place, you’re acknowledging acceptance. Should you have this problem and take it to the front desk to complain, these are the considerations: 1. Did you approach the woman? 2. Did you ask the woman to come to you? 3. How long did the act go on? 4. Why did you not say “NO” or stop? Anytime you approach a woman or go sit by her, you’re taking up her time and keeping her from being with other guests or making money. This differs from women who come to you and sit by you of their own intentions. Women will do this looking for business or to introduce themselves. If a woman asks you if she can sit by you, consider it to be an opening that says “Are you interested?”. If you’re not interested, you’re better off being polite and refusing any aggressive woman.
What to do if you are not satisfied with the service provided by a woman?
If it’s really bad the sooner you stop the better, as that will be one of the questions. The girl will ask, “If you did not like what I was doing, why did you continue?” Your problem can only be addressed by the front desk staff, so don’t waste time going to the bar or involving service staff in the club. This is where having a fluent German speaker is invaluable. See your guide or translator if you’re on a tour. If your complaint is about time, sometimes you’ll win as you’re entitled to 30 minutes for 50 Euros. However, some women will insist that once you pop your time is over. Some management will side with the girl and some will side with “you paid for 30 minutes, so you should get 30 minutes”. The outcome can vary club to club. “I did not finish, or she did not get me off”. Going to the room does not require a girl to get you off, although that is the intention and goal. Some guests will get drunk, or go to the room several times, and expect a woman to get them off regardless. The outcome will usually be ‘there is no guarantee’. Did she try? That’s good enough. Example: I once had a girl approach me and invite me to the room for great sex. Once in the room, she began oral and noticed I was too big for her. She then declined to have sex. I told her I came to the room specifically for sex. She said she would only provide oral. I told her this was not acceptable and said let’s go to the front desk. Sometimes just letting the woman know you’re going to the front desk to report a problem solves the problem. At the front desk, I explained I had a problem. They had a manager step aside with me and the woman. I gave my side of the story and she gave her side of the story. The fact was the girl did perform oral for a period of time. However, the girl was not able to complete what she had promised; thus I was asked if splitting the difference was acceptable. I was to pay her only 25 Euros instead of 50. While this was not the best option I agreed. There is a fine line where the club has to keep both the woman and the customer happy. The club works with these women on a daily basis and if the girl is unhappy or feels she has been treated unfairly she can leave the club and work somewhere else. Years ago when there were not so many clubs, management had more influence; however, today the women can make or break a club.
GETTING THE BEST SERVICE
We expect the women to be clean, smell good, treat us well and give us great service. It’s been proven that if you wash well, use deodorant, use cologne, trim your hand and toe nails and brush your teeth, chances are you’ll get better service. Nothing is more of a turn off than bad breath, dirty teeth, BO or an unbathed body. The number one issue we get from women about men in over 20 years is “men who are not clean or smell bad”. This will result is less time, poor service and even refusal of service.
Don’t brush your teeth right before going to the room. Brush them at the hotel long before going to a club. The reason for this is brushing your teeth causes micro abrasions, which make it easier for infection and bleeding. It’s best to brush at the start of the day and use mouth wash during your visit to freshen up.
DRINK LOTS OF FLUIDS
There are many reasons for this. One is to replenish your liquids from sweating and loss of body fluids. The other is for safety reasons. It’s common knowledge that after receiving oral sex (without condom), urinating right after (within minutes) a strong stream of urine will flush out any possible STD, germs etc. This is not 100%, but has been proven to be very effective.
KEEP YOUR URINARY TRACT HEALTHY
CRANBERRY EXTRACT Cranberry extract or dried cranberries are proven to clean and protect your urinary tract. It’s a good idea to stock up on these gel capsules before you depart for your trip and consume several of them each day while on your trip. They can be found at most health stores or herbal remedies sections at stores. UNPASTEURIZED APPLE CIDER VINEGAR CAPSULES OR LIQUID Known to be the cure for many things and used for hundreds of years, use unpasteurized Apple Cider Vinegar (Braggs Brand is best)
Driving in America VS Driving in Germany
German Autobahn vs US Interstate Highways
Driving in Germany
If you’re going to travel on your own and rent a car, make sure you look into German rules of the road which differ from driving in the USA. On some sections of the autobahns (freeways) there is no speed limit. This can change often so take note of the signage. Note on the autobahns the fast lane (left-most lane) is for passing only, not cruising at what you feel is a comfortable speed. Doing so could cause an accident as high-end cars often take advantage of the unlimited speed zones and travel upwards of 200kmph and faster. Slower traveling vehicles are required to stay in the far right lanes. It’s against the law to pass on the right.
While you won’t see many police cars waiting for speeders, Germany is known for its speed traps (blitzers), high speed radar cameras that can be found along autobahns and within cities. Many are located as you enter smaller towns and cities. Even if you don’t live in Germany, you’re responsible to pay any photo radar fines you may encounter. It’s in your rental car contract and the rental company will pass on a 50 euro admin fee for notifying you of the fine after which they’ll pass on your address and driving info to the city where the speed camera was located. The cost of the fine depends on the speed. It will then be up to you to wire the funds. If late, a penalty will be assessed and added to the fine. It can get costly with admin fees and bank wiring charges.
While some people think renting a car is inexpensive, remember fuel comes at a premium and sometimes three times the cost of US fuel. $6 – $9 a gallon is common so figure that in when calculating the cost of travel. Parking lot dings and windscreen chips are all considered damage and may be billed to your credit card upon return, so take care where you park and drive. If you plan on drinking then don’t drive because it’s common for police to set up checkpoints not far from a club knowing that club guests drink. If you are stopped, police will demand that you blow into a portable breathalyzer and should you test positive you’ll end up in a German jail and be looking at huge fines.
One way streets are common, so take care within city limits and familiarize yourself with European traffic signs. Make sure to know the parking regulations within city limits because many cities now have city wide parking rules that are only posted as you enter that city. There won’t be signage within the city because residents are supposed to know the parking rules. Again, if you find a parking ticket on your car, or it’s mailed to you, you’re required to pay it or you will be assessed a penalty.
Feet on Furniture
Think twice about putting your feet up on coffee tables or furniture. The rule is if people put plates or drinks on such furniture then it’s bad manners to rest your feet on them.
Don’t wear them inside the club, while you think it’s cool to wear that baseball cap in the club it’s bad etiquette and the better clubs may ask you to remove your hat or head cover.
Fruit and Baked goods
If you touch it, you should take it. This means not pawing several pieces of fruit for the right one. Bread should always be handled with tongs, which are generally available.
Dishes and Dining
In German self serve restaurants, it’s common for you to bus your own table. Look around the room for a tray cart or a table where you leave your dirty dishes. Almost every club has a place for dirty dishes. Just because someone leaves their dirty dishes and walks away does not mean that’s OK. Staff look down at such guests as not possessing manners. Always drop off your empty glass at the bar as well.
Towels, robes and slippers
Club slippers are provided and usually sprayed with disinfectant; if unsure look for the disinfectant spray bottle which is usually close by. After use, deposit your towel, robe and slippers in the supplied bins or crates located in the locker room. Don’t be the guy who drops everything on the floor and walks away; this makes everyone look bad.
One of the things we see is gum and paper towels in the urinal. Do the right thing and place such items in the proper trash receptacle.
Ever notice the guy without a volume control that you can hear across the club or locker room? Most people don’t want to hear what you have to say and it’s polite to speak at a volume that only those directly near you can hear. Approaching women who are engaged in conversation with other men; if a woman is with another man via conversation or seated, wait until they’re free before you begin a conversation with her.
Washing well, using mouthwash and some cologne go a long way toward getting the edge for better service. Also, any dentist will confirm that brushing within a few hours of kissing or oral sex is a bad idea. The problem is that brushing creates micro abrasions on the gums and some bleeding and open wounds are the last thing you want when kissing or performing DATY. Do that before coming to the club in the morning and then freshen up with some mouthwash before taking a gal to the room. Another good tip is to ask a girl to the room and tell her you’ll be back in 5 minutes as you’re going to freshen up and shower for her. This lets her know you actually did shower and care about being clean. Some guys shower once and then even hours later think that one shower was enough. This goes with the concept of no underwear; most likely you’ll be sweating in the club and sitting around which is why the concept was designed around everyone being naked. Ever notice the women sit on towels? This is for sanitary reasons.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do
The term “FKK” was applied to the brothel scene meaning “Everyone is naked, not just the women. With the introduction of foreigners, robes were added to the mix. Then all of a sudden men who appeared to be ashamed or embarrassed by their bodies began to wear their underwear under their towels or robes. Underwear goes against the FKK concept. The concept is you’re ready for fun, fresh out of the shower, clean smelling and not wearing day old underwear.
People ask all the time, “Can I wear surf trunks or something other than a towel?” The point is it’s an “FKK” club, which is about being nude. If you have a problem with being nude then perhaps you should look into normal brothels. Wearing surf shorts or other fancy wear will only bring unwanted attention to you, which is what you don’t want if you’re that concerned about people seeing you naked.
Dealing with staff
Learn some basic German. It’s a myth that everyone speaks English and even with those that do it’s not their native tongue so speak slowly and clearly. We can’t tell you how many times we see people order something and then find out it’s not what they wanted. Learn to say please, thank you, yes and no in German for starters. Just because someone looks like they understand you, don’t assume that they truly understand.
To Go or Not to Go
When a newbie and exploring a club for the first time take some time to watch other guests. Don’t rush over and open doors and run up stairs, especially if no one else is doing this. Some places are off limits to guests when not accompanied with a woman or only for staff. Again “when in Rome do as the Romans” take some time and watch others around you and note where they go and don’t go. More facts that support our info, Why taking internet advice from someone you’ve never met may not always be accurate.