From a Customer’s Perspective

From Newbie to Veteran; a Customer Perspective

I’m standing at the meeting point near Terminal 1 at Frankfurt International Airport (FRA), waiting for the guide to arrive.  He’s supposed to be here between 11 and 12 and as the minutes go by I start to wonder whether he’ll really show up.  Then, I hear someone shout my name; it’s the guide and he’s waving me over.  Success!

It’s my very first trip with FKK Tour, and now that the doubt is erased I begin to imagine what is in store as I settle into the car and we take off for breakfast.  The little bakery that we stop at is a cozy neighborhood place with locals going about their Sunday morning rituals.  I am sitting with a couple of guys who have been on several prior tours and we discuss in low tones how the day is going to progress.

We drive to the first club.  As we check in at the front desk, I can already see some ladies milling around inside near the bar.  They are all naked and walking around like it is no big deal, but for me it’s quite the opposite.  Since I’m a newbie, the guide walks me through the check in process, points me to the locker room and provides some additional information on what to do.

This place is like the Playboy Mansion on steroids!  I’m trying to get used to the idea that we can spend as much time here as we want, all for about $50.  It’s a little slow at first, but as the afternoon wears on there are more and more girls showing up.  I’ve probably been hit on at least 10 times already, and I didn’t have to do anything to get that attention.  Can’t say whether I was trying to play it cool, or just that I was scared to death to make a move, but I waited until I saw one that really caught my eye.

She didn’t speak much English, and I was out of small talk anyway, so I asked her to go up to a room.  If memory serves me, the girl was Hungarian, with brown curly hair and brown eyes with that olive skin that I like.  My first FKK Club girl!  The session was pretty good; better than most paid sex encounters that I had experienced in the past.  I thought it was comparable to the Dominican Republic all-inclusive resort girls that I had encountered the year before, but there had to be at least 10 times the number of ladies to choose from and they were all European.

Later in the day, we left for the second club and got there around dinner time.  This place was even larger and there were wall-to-wall women at this club.  It was a bit wilder and also a bit overwhelming with the dizzying array of choices available.  I acted a bit faster at the second club since I was starting to feel the effects of the jet lag.  The second session was a bit disappointing.  I figured it was just bad luck, but I later came to understand that it was because I had much to learn about how to avoid the operators and find the GFE types.

At around 10 PM, I was so tired that I couldn’t keep my eyes open.  Holy crap!  One hundred fifty naked, willing females and I’m out like a light.  We left around 1 AM and I learned a valuable lesson for the future; arrive a day early to adjust to the time zone so that you won’t fall asleep with so much beaver available that you’ll be kicking yourself over it.

The next day, we piled in the vehicle and started North.  The bulk of the regular 6 day Group Tour would be spent in the area around the German State of North Rhine-Westphalia.  At the time, the clubs up North had cheaper pricing for extra time after the first half hour and the hotel was central to all the clubs so that getting to any one of them was short.

I began to pay attention to the guide more and more, coming to the understanding that it’s about quality, not quantity, when it comes to selection.  If you have any doubts about whether having a guide makes a difference in your club experience, consider this.  With over 25 years of experience and having observed all kinds of women plying their trade in the clubs, one develops a sixth sense about how they will perform once in the room.  This is key because anyone can have dumb luck and stumble upon a superstar girl every once in a while, but can you consistently choose higher than average performers day after day?

Also, wouldn’t it be better to have a group of experienced mongers along for the trip who have been to the clubs many times already?  They likely have favorite girls at each club and are also continuing to develop their radar when it comes to seeking out talent.  One of the main strengths of a group tour is sharing information, both before and while at a particular club.  While it’s not mandatory, contributing your opinion about how good your session was each and every time will allow the guide and the other guests to make informed choices of service providers.  Experienced guests are often more willing to share their favorites with a small group of guys whom they have gotten to know rather than post it on the internet.

As I write this, I am preparing to go on my 7th trip, so at this point you could say that I have reached veteran status.  I know all the clubs that are on the must visit list, where everything is in each facility, which girls I like and hope are there when we visit.  My skills at interviewing a new girl are pretty good and I have endeavored to learn enough German to do the interview in German if she can’t speak English. I especially know what NOT to do at each club which avoids embarrassment and problems with the staff; the common newbie mistakes.

That ability came in very handy with one milf from Latvia that the guide pointed out to me a few years back.  According to the guide, she was a certified nympho, a sure thing.  Only trouble was, she didn’t speak a word of English (most of the girls do, by the way, so no worries).  My German was fairly limited back then, but I had a great time with her anyway.  The next time we went to the club a year later, I ran into her again but this time I could speak enough German to have a decent conversation.  The session was as good as I remembered and I had greater confidence in my ability to overcome the language barrier. Having a guide who speaks German fluently means the difference between connecting with the right girl and the wrong one, as well as having things explained between the woman and you made totally clear.

Let me share a few more thoughts on the pros and cons of going on tour.  Your first tour is likely to make you feel like you’re tagging along because you don’t get to vote on which clubs to visit.  This is logical, however, since you’ve never been to a club how can you express your opinion on it?  The good news is, the others who have experience are going to want to go to the best clubs anyway, so why worry?  Besides the jet lag that first day, I learned another couple of things about smart solutions to various problems at the clubs.  Most have quite a few stairs, so I was bothered by having to wear the flip flops that most clubs provide.  Solution; bring your own bath shoes.  I bought a pair of pool deck shoes; you know, the kind that have nylon uppers and rubber soles.

Common bath shoes:


Another thing is that most clubs have two lockers, one for clothes and one for your money.  Too often, guys leave a club without retrieving their money out of the small locker and discover it while the group is driving away from the place.  Solution; keep everything in the big clothing locker.  So what if the girl has to wait for you to go into the locker room and return to pay her?  At some places, she will follow you in anyway so no worries and you will never leave your money at a club this way.

Most important, the guide is not a chauffeur nor is he a potted plant (as Ollie North’s lawyer famously observed).  You want to seek his counsel; pick his brain.  Your whole club experience will be better if you listen and learn.  I don’t know what your motivation is for signing up for a tour, other than the obvious.  I can tell you what mine was and is.  Every tour I attend is a chance to find the ultimate sexual experience.  She has to be attractive to me, have the right personality, have the skills and the dirty mind to go with them and create the illusion that our encounter is something very special.  Do I realize that this is paid sex?  Of course, but why not seek the best possible kind of paid sex there is and just enjoy the hell out of it?

If you had gotten an invite to the Playboy Mansion back in the day, wouldn’t you have gone?  Hey, a chance to meet Hef, have as much food and drink as you want, relax, play some volley ball or take a dip in the pool.  And, oh yeah, have a hundred centerfold models frolicking around in bikinis all day long!  But, unlike the Mansion, the girls at Germany’s FKK Clubs won’t say no.  They won’t laugh at your attempts to bed them, they’ll take you by the hand, lead you to a room and boink you silly, for a small fee of course.  It’s true; it actually exists, and all you need to do is book a tour.

My name is Joe and I have been all over the world on mongering trips.  Thailand, Hong Kong, Costa Rica, the Dominican Republic, Australia, Canada, Denmark, Austria and Red Light districts in other parts of Germany.  Nothing compares to the level of experience and comfort of being in a German FKK Club.  That’s why I keep coming back.  Thanks for reading this; it’s basically an expanded testimonial for why you should consider attending a tour with FKK Tour.  You won’t regret it.

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